z~may: This is damnnn nice… Damnnn long… Got it from Jasmine, but itz really worth reading…
About 4 years ago, when life wasn’t so hard, and friends and good times
were all that really mattered…. A young girl about 15 years of age
lived her life of simplicity.
Her name was Nicole. She was
currently with someone totally different from her, and not to mention,
a pure heartbreaker and a loser. But hey, life was good, she was young,
and basically that didn’t really matter.
All that mattered was
that she knew what it was like to feel for a guy at that time, and to
live her life of endless happiness with her friends and family.
—————————————-——————
One
afternoon, she stood on the grassy hill after school, embracing her so
called boyfriend Stan. And at that moment, about 10 feet away, at the
flag pole, stood a boy about two years older than Nicole by the name of
Tom.
He watched her gently hug her boyfriend, and then slowly
walk away, until he could no longer see her image. He never knew what
it was like to feel for anybody, however, a strange feeling inside took
over him. Something extremely unexplainable, and so confusing. And he
thought to himself,
‘One day, I just gotta meet her. ‘
"Hey Tom!" a boy called out. "Why do you look all dazed off and stuff?"
"Ah nothin’ Stan, lets just go home now." Tom replied.
When Tom had arrived to Stan’s house, they sat down for some soda. Tom had totally gotten his mind off of that strange feeling.
"Damn, I forgot to go call my home girl man, can you hand me the phone Tom?" Stan asked as he took a sip of his soda.
"Hello
may I please speak to Nicole? Oh this is Stan" he asked. Stan and
Nicole began to conversate, until he remembered to do some chores….so
he handed the phone to Tom.
"Here man, can you go talk to her for awhile, I gotta do some stuff for my dad real quick?"
"Alrightt cool" said Tom.
"Hello! yeah hi this is Tom! Who’s this?"
"Oh this is Nicole" she replied.
After
that one conversation, Nicole and Tom began to keep in touch with phone
calls everyday. Neither one of them knew what they looked like, or so
they thought… For Tom was totally clueless that that one girl he
watched from the flag pole the other day, was the very girl he was
laughing and talking with everyday.
—————————————-—————————————-——————
It
had been weeks, and then months, and Nicole and Tom grew close, and
told one another everything imaginable. And with this bond, they became
the best of friends. Still not knowing what they looked like in person,
Tom decided to visit Stan again after school, which of course so
happened to be the same day as Nicole.
Tom knew for a fact that
Nicole went to that school, but still didn’t know what she looked like,
till that one day after school.
As Tom walked onto the campus,
he stood by the same flagpole, and waited for Stan. He watched the
crowd of people, chatting about, and doing their own thing, until he
spotted that one girl he had seen that one afternoon. He was so caught
up by the way she carried herself, and how different she seemed from
the other girls. She was shy, mature, quiet, and simple.
None of that make up stuff all over her face. As he admired her, something immediately caught his attention..
"Ey Nicole, wassup!" a girl called out, walking towards the girl Tom was admiring.
"Wassup" she said with a grin on her face.
"Oh my god!" Tom said to himself.
Could that be Nicole? The girl I’ve been talking to on the phone with?
He
was so surprised. he walked up from behind Nicole, and tapped her on
her shoulder and quickly turned around, pretending he didn’t do
anything. Annoyed as Nicole should of been said: "How rude!"
And
all Tom could do was laugh. He couldn’t believe that that girl he was
so eager to meet, was the very girl he had been talking to for quite
awhile now…. Nicole. He called her that day, and told her that he saw
her. Nicole was so surprised.
"Oh that was you huh, that one guy who tapped me on the shoulder huh?" she laughed.
Inside,
Nicole and Tom felt something so weird, every time they talked and
every time they were apart. They felt something inside when they
thought of one another. But the feelings they felt, they let it pass,
and denied it to themselves, as if it were simply nothing.
They wondered about these feelings time to time, but never really tried to figure out what it meant, or what it was.
Nicole
and Tom told one another about their lives, their fears, problems, and
little infatuations over people every now and then, but never kept the
same feeing inside for one another.
—————————————-—————————————-——————
One
rainy day, Nicole called Tom up crying about breaking up with Stan.. He
comforted her so much, and she felt so much better when he did. Tom was
always there for Nicole, and he never once let her down.
That’s
the one thing she loved about him so much. Not to mention, they were so
much like one another, always making people laugh, and always making
each other happy. Some say that these two were exactly the same, except
different names, and the opposite sex of course.
Summer came,
Tom and Nicole spent more time with one another, and finally got to see
each other in person. They met each other at Stan’s house one day, and
Nicoles heart dropped when she saw Tom for the first time.
She watched him play on the computer, just as he watched her that one day after school.
When
it was time to go home, Tom gave Nicole his school ID and she said her
goodbye with a warm embrace to Tom. They both blushed, and that same
unexplainable feeling took over the both of them.
Nicole knew
what that long time feeling she had been feeling all those times. She
was no longer in denial…she liked him maybe even loved him.
The first person she told was her best friend Amanda, who too knew Tom. She was shocked!
Days later, Tom was talking to Stan, as he said, "Hey Stan, I think I like Nicole."
"Really?! Wow, that’s awesome."
From that day on forward, only five people knew, Stan, Amanda, Nicole, Tom, and God himself.
And it was up to fate to lead the both of them to their destiny.
—————————————-—————————————-——————-
It
had been a whole year, Nicole and Tom still didn’t want to admit their
feelings to one another. They knew what was up, but never took the risk
to admit.
Until Nicole hinted him out what she felt.
"I’m suppose to tell you everything right Tom?" she asked him.
"Duh! Why? You like some one huh?" he replied.
"Uh, Yeah, Sorta" she said.
"Who," he asked.
"Well,
he has the same backround as you, about your height, your age and you
know him very well. you see him everyday." she hinted out.
Tom
knew then what that mean. He felt the same, but was so afraid to show
it, because he never had a girlfriend in his whole entire life. He knew
it was him, and Nicole was so relieved telling him.
Day by day they flirted every now and then and admitted their feelings in ways only they could understand.
—————————————-—————————————-—————
On December 20th, 1998, Tom and Nicole both officially started seeing eachother.
He was the most perfect guy you could ever meet in Nicole’s eyes to be exact.
He
was tall, handsome, great sense of humor, caring, loving, just
eveything close to being perfect in Nicole’s eyes. And his eyes, his
eyes were so warm, so sexy, so…WOW!
And he was everything she thought of him to be..
Everyone
said that they were the most cutest, and perfect couple. And they were
both so happy with one another. Everyone even thought they’d get
married someday. He did everything for, to, and because of her, and she
surely did the same for him.
Their forgiveness, love, passion, and care were endless for one another. These two were inseparable, and in love.
He
always told her "you’re such a big baby…you and those big brown eyes
of yours, and those cute chubby cheeks…God I love you" and kissed her
lovingly on her lips.
"I love you too babe," she’d always reply.
—————————————-—————————————-—————–
Two years passed, and Tom of course graduated and things began to change.
They
got into many fights, and Nicole began to feel the hurt inside, that
she never ever felt before. Tom told her though, that through out all
this negativity, he still loved her.
He took her hand one day,
as she cried cold painful tears, and looked her in her eyes and said,
"No matter what, through it all, this is it… There’s no one else but
you. I will always love you, and I will always end up with you…I
promise," and wiped her tears away as he kissed her forehead gently.
Tom
began to change, and emotionally hurt her daily. Her sweetest and most
perfect man was slowly disappearing into someone she never knew.
He
began to stop doing things for her, he stopped making her happy, and he
stopped saying sweet things. He stopped visiting her, and stopped
calling, and always chose his friends over her.
When they argued, he’d yell at her, hang the phone up on her, and leave her with so much pain and nothing to do but .. cry.
—————————————-—————————————-——————
It was soon passed half a year, and things had gotten worse.
When she tried telling him how she felt, he just let it pass.
He
started lying about many things and became so unfaithful to her. He
began to drink, which he promised he wouldn’t, and hung out with his
friends morning, noon, and night, and never had time for her.
Tom did things that his old sweet self would never do before.
He left her many times at home just crying, and didn’t even bother to see if she was okay.
Basically, Nicole was in love with someone who seemed to not love her back anymore.
They were together alright, but didn’t seem like it to Nicole.
It hurt to much inside, but because Nicole loved him so much, she never did let him go.
She
took the pain, and cried endless tears, and still loved him through it
all, while he was out breaking promises, and being someone he knew he
never was before.
There never passed a day when Nicole didn’t
think about him, worry about the relationship, wonder why he was the
way he was, or cried about the hurt.
The pain he cause her
scarred her heart deeper and deeper everyday. Her family was affected,
her friends, and even school. Everybody was worried about her. No one
ever saw her smile anymore. and if she did, it was fake.
She hardly slept, and just everything in her life fell apart.
All
because that one most perfect human being who walked into her life, and
who she loved so much, hurt her in ways that could never be fixed.
Tom basically left her out of his time, out of his reach, and out of his life.
He
acted as if she wasn’t even his girlfriend. She did as much as she
could for him though, and sacrificed her whole life for him. She did
anything to make things work, but he didn’t do much at all. She tried
so hard to figure out what the problem was, & why he hurt her so
much.
How can God give you the most perfect gift of your whole
life to love, and take it away as if it wasn’t yours to keep? she asked
everyday.
Tom became meaner and meaner, and it hurt her more
and more. One day he picked her up from school, and this was so
different. She looked at him slowly. His built was bigger, his
lips…no smile, his voice so monotone, and his eyes…She looked at
his eyes through the rear view mirror, and she began to cry. His eyes
were so cold now, and that love, warmth, and sweetness she use to see
no longer existed. Tom wasn’t Tom anymore. They didn’t speak a word
that car ride home, and all she could think was
Why? Why was it like this now?
She
went home and cried her heart out. And all that played in her head was
the days he always dropped by just to see her, just to hold her. Now,
he seemed as if he didn’t even want to hold her anymore, touch her, or
look at her.
She blamed herself for all of this, didn’t know
why, but it just seemed like it was her fault. She laid in bed that
night reminiscing about the nights they laid together in bed, and he
held her close to his body, and never did let go. How she use to wake
up summer mornings, and he’d be smiling and watching her sleep till she
got up.
Why was everything so hard now? And why did it hurt so
much? She remembered the sweet ring of his voice constantly telling her
he loved her, while they kissed, or just stared into each other’s eyes.
She remembered the days when he’d stroke her hair, and laid the
most simplest, sweetest, kisses on her lips. She remembered the days
when just everything between them was so perfect. She cried helpless
tears, and all hope was just gone.
She knew she was still so young, but regardless what age she was, it still hurt.
There
were times where she’d think about leaving him, but she imagined how
worse the pain would feel knowing she lived a life without him. Just as
long as she knew she was his, and he was her’s made the slightest bit
of feeling okay.
Her tears fell harder, and her mind began to shut down on her. All she could think was
God I love you Tom, I miss your old self so much.
~~~
One afternoon, Tom picked her up from school again. They were both walking until Nicole began to cry like usual.
"Why are you crying again? Damn!" Tom yelled.
"Nothing…" she struggled to say.
"You
know what I hate about seeing you all the time? Is that you always end
up crying on me for no reason! What the hell am I doing wrong now?!" he
yelled again. She tried to hug him tight, yet he resisted.
"I love you Tom, I’m sorry," she cried.
"Yeah whatever," he coldly said.
Tom
was so frusterated, he didn’t’ know what he was thinking, didn’t know
what he was doing, a confusion of being with her or leaving her just
rushed through his head, as they walked towards the car.
Suddenly,
in the midst of it all, a loud bang altered them both. Tom didn’t know
what it was. He turned around to see if Nicole heard it,
"Ey did you………………NOOO!" he cried.
Nicole
had been shot on her right side, as she lay bleeding, and gasping for
breath on the street by Tom’s car. He ran over to her as everyone
crowded around.
"Fucking call 911!!" he screamed, as tears began to roll down his eyes.
"Babe are you okay?" he asked, holding her in his arms.
Nicole
slowly reached to touch his right cheek, as she looked him in the eyes
and lightly smiled. "I’m sorry if I did anything wrong to make us the
way we are now." She struggled to say.
"Nicole dont even say that, you’re going to be okay!….God someone please help!!!" He cried.
"You
hurt me a lot Tom, but I still contunued to love you. Because no matter
what, through it all, that’s it. There’s no one else…no one else but
you." she smiled, and coughed as she gasped for air.
She began
to cry, and still the pain she felt within her heart still struck her
like always. Flashbacks of their times together rushed through her
mind, and she could hardly keep her eyes open, as her helpless body lay
strongly against Tom’s chest. Tom crying harder than ever looked down
into her eyes, hoping she wouldn’t die.
"Babe i’m sorry for
everything, God I love you! You can’t leave, We’re supposed to get
married remember? Remember, I promised, this is it, it’s you that I’m
supposed to end up with. Babe remember?" he cried.
"I know I
know," she nodded her head slightly up and down, as her tears began to
mix with the bright red blood upon her body. Tom held her tighter and
closer to his body.
"God please no, Don’t take her away from me….." he whispered.
Nicole’s hand began to slowly drift away from his cheek, as she struggled to keep her eye’s open.
"I
love you so much Tom, and I wish I could’ve made everything all better.
But babe…Everything I did, and every tear I cried…I did it all for
you….everything…I love you." She said, "I don’t wanna go, but I
have to, and God know’s I love you. We’ll be together again.. Remember,
because you said, we will always be together…We will" she said slowly
as her last tear rolled upon her cheek, and dropped slowly on Tom’s
hand. Her eye’s closed,
"I love you," she whispered, and Nicole had passed away.
"Noo!!" Tom cried. "You cant go…" he rocked her back and forth, and tried to wake her up.
"Babe?
Wake up…c’mon Nicole. Please Please…we can work things out I
promise. Come on! We’re suppose to get married! Wake up.. Please…!"
He begged. He closed his eyes and rested his head upon hers as endless
tears continued to fall.
"God I’m so sorry I didnt’ take care of you, I’m so sorry," he cried as he kissed her forehead.
All Tom could do was cry, and hold her until the ambulance came.
As
the put her on a stretcher, and placed a white blanket over her head,
it began to rain. Tom on his knees looked up into the sky and cried his
heart out.
" I LOVE YOU NICOLEE!!" He screamed.
"I love you so fucking much." He whispered one last time.
—————————————-——————————
From that day on, Tom knew there was nothing else he could fix.
His
life, his love, was no longer there. And all he could think about was
her smile, and that one day she lay in his arms dying. He will always
remember her, and will always love her… Because this is it, it was
her, that he chose to love for life.
You see, life is never
forever, and things only come once. You don’t know how long you’ll get
to keep things, and you’ll never know how long you’ll get to live. But
as long as you know you’ve got something in your life you love, and
cherish so much…..make the best of it.
Because one day, when you lease expect it, you could lose the most important thing in your life you set your whole future for.
Take care of things while their still small, and most of all take much care of the people you love.
Because one day, it just might be too late to take care of anything, or even see them smile again.
Trust me I know…someday we will be….because we promised we would.
—————————————-——————————
z~may: Somehow, to me, most relationships go that path.. As in, the changes… Especially guys… And the girl gets heartbroken.. This is a typical scenario… & when that happens, its too late to step back, couse we’ve fallen too deep. Love.. Blind & stupid? Love conquers? Love hurts. Love makes ppl do stupid things.. crazy things… But in the end, we still love…
