~Jumbled Up Thoughts II~

We had the weirdest BBQ session ever last night. Yet, funny.
Simple, small, & EASY to CLEAN! Yes, that’s the best part.
May, Joshua, Kimmy & I… A last minute thing.
We decided to have it at over our small dry drain, putting the grill over it.
Hehe, sounds disgusting, but it’s clean and hygienic la! Really!
Lesson learnt:- If four of us get stranded in the woods one day, it’s a 99% chance that we WILL die.
Imagine with charcoals, lighters, and MANY firestarters.. we took almost 3 hours to start the fire.. How sad! And u don’t wanna know how many firestarters we sacrificed…
The pathetic fire began with.. hmm.. let’s say a size of a small pancake.
And that also, after a dozen attempts.
I was so tempted to jump on it with one foot. Trust me, the fire will be dead.
See how sad? Interesting 3 hours though… Hehe. Only hse 5521 will know.
May the Xena Warior Princess fanned with all her might!
Joshua’s smarter.. Used my table fan.. *teehee*
Kimmy & I were in our own world acting as farmers.. Haha!
Finally, the fire was perfect though small. But just nice for the 4 for us =)
Boy, I remember the hunger!

After a while.. Joshua & I decided to be kind-hearted ppl for the day.
We saved a bird!
The poor thing.. has been soaked to the bones in the cold dark drain for God-knows-how-long…
After struggling hard, we FINALLY got it out with brooms and dustpan..
We wiped it dry, then hair-dried it, and tried feeding it with bread…
Its’ eyes were closed all the time.. Poor guy, traumatized man.
Josh said its’ leg was broken.. Or maybe wing.. =(
Then suddenly… WA-LA! It opened its eyes again!
But then.. Think it got culture shock when it saw May & Kimmy BBQ-ing his cousins, chickenwings. Maybe it thought he was next.
Josh & I got tired of it, so we left it alone.
After quite some time.. It flapped its wings and hopped!
*Yayyyy* All of us jumped for joy =D
Then.. maybe he couldn’t accept the fact that his fellow chicken friends are barbecued in front of him.. So it tried to FLYY..
Again! We all jumped for JOY! *Yayyy!!*
It went to the houses next door.. Then it came back to us..
*Aauuw* Burung yang mengenang budi… How sweet…
BUT… Think again. That’s not what it is trying to say…
Think it’s trying to say, "My wings & legs ain’t broken! I’m just blind! Watch me!"
It flew off… Banged his head on the wall.. And dropped back into the drain.
*siiiiiigggggghhhhhhhh* No cure to stupidity.
Went back to search, but it was too dark to see anything.
Think it was fated to die…

Today, had lunch with Raymond, James, May, Gas. The usual gang.
Then they dropped me off to campus.
I went for my first Taxation seminar.
Hmm. People say it’s the one of the toughest subject for my major.
But today’s one is quite okay. Hard, but fun and understandable.
Even before semester started, I’m stressing out already.
All my subjects are killers. I must graduate!!! Must must must!
[Hmm. I'm hungry..]
What to do today… Go home, rest. eat eat eat. Hang around.
Oh yah.. Photostate shop… Going to KC’s tonight for discussion…
Homework man. Tonnes of it..

Lots of things happened this past two months..
Good. Bad. Sweet. Bitter.
But everything’s much better now… *glad*
Oh yah! Teetee spent 5 days in Miri with me last 2 weeks =D
Shucks, I miss that two donkeys so much.
Sorry Pmp, couldn’t spend your birthday in KL with u =(
yah yah, i know you’ll start screaming at us all over again =(
Promise will make it up to you!
What else..
Oh yah, going back KL next week for the weekend.. Yayy!
Sister’s graduation =) Geez.. Time flies so fast.
Still remember the first time when we sent her off to Penang… 4 years already..
Juz realized I hvnt update my blog for ages.. So i can’t figure out what to type..

Argh! There’s too much to crap! I can’t take it! Jammed brains…
Shall catch the bus home soon.
Tata!

-= z~may =-

I lurrrvee this song… The chorus is from Tatu’s Gomenasai.. Which i love too..!
Sad & meaningful lyrics… *sob* *sob*   - Don’t do this!! -

Happy Birthday… so make a wish…

Please accept my apologies, wonder what would have been…
Would you’ve been a little angel or an angel of sin?
Tom-boy running around, hanging with all the guys?
Or a little tough boy with beautiful brown eyes?
I paid for the murder before they determined the sex,
Choosing our life over your life, meant your death.
And you never got a chance to even open your eyes
Sometimes I wonder as a fetus if you fought for your life?
Would you have been a little genius, in love with math?
Would you have played in your school clothes and made me mad?
Would you have been a little rapper like your papa da Piper?
Would you have made me quit smokin’ by finding one of my lighters?
I wonder about your skintone and shape of your nose…
And the way you would have laughed and talked fast or slow?
Think about it every year, so I picked up a pen…
Happy birthday, love you whoever you woulda been
Happy birthday…

All I thought was a dream, (make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed… (happy birthday)
All I thought was a dream, (make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed…
I made a mistake!

I’ve got a millon excuses to why you died…
Bet the people got their own reasons for homicide.
Who’s to say it woulda worked, and who’s to say it wouldn’t have?
I was young and strugglin’ but old enough to be your dad,
The fear of being a father has never disappeared,
Pondering frequently while I’m sippin’ on my beer…
My vision of a family was artificial and fake,
So when it came time to create I made a mistake…
Now you’ve got a little brother, maybe he’s really you?
Maybe you really forgave us knowin’ we was confused?
Maybe everytime that he smiles it’s you proudly knowin’ that your father’s doin’ the right thing now?
I never tell a woman what to do with her body,
But if she don’t love children then we can’t party…
Think about it every year, so I picked up a pen…
Happy birthday, love you whoever you woulda been
Happy birthday…

All I thought was a dream, (make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed… (happy birthday)
All I thought was a dream, (make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed…
I made a mistake!

And from the heavens to the womb to the heavens again
From the endin’ to the endin’, never got to begin
Maybe one day we could meet face to face?
In a place without time and space
Happy birthday…

I’m hungry.
And I’m bored.
And I have tonnes of work to do.
I’m cold.
But comfortable.
In campus lab now. Again.
May’s on my left.
Ray’s on my right.
Gaston James Devonne Hiew are also here.
Staying till 3 am again.
My books and papers are flooded all over the place.
We each have a cup. With warm drinks.
Coffee, Tea, Milo…
Listening to Ray’s mp3.
Title: I’m so sick of Love Song by Frankie J.
Reminds me of my dear…
He loves that song.
Finance International 302 is driving me insane.
Going BBQ shopping with Heng tomorrow.
May & Fa-Chiang’s birthday this weekend.
FoooooD!
Trying to save money…
Haven’t been eating properly =(
Had maggi only whole day since supper yesterday.
Hungry.
Eric Lim called to chat just now.
Feel grateful my close friends do call me once in a while =)
Cheryl sent me pictures of them at Midvalley today.
Feel left out.
But so funny seeing them. Ha-ha.
Miss them so much…
Miss home.
Can’t wait to get back.
38 more days.
Wonder whats YH doing now.
At some beauty pageant thingy with Anne…
Teetee Mike and Eric hanging out in Subang.
Wonder what will I be doin if I was in Subang.
Listening to my all time favorite Nickleback’s Faraway.
Love the lyrics.
May look so stressed up since just now.
Ray look so busy.
Feel bad for hijacking his mp3…
But he insist I use.
Haha.
At least he’s not so grumpy already now.
Finished some of his work.
Read my other blog just now.
Entries of few years back.
So many things I don’t remember.
When i read back…
Laughed so much.
But also, felt a twitch reading bitter memories.
Things change.
Good and bad.
Everything happen for a reason i Believe.
Think I’ll stop now.
Just finding reasons not to read those boring work I have.
K, stop here I shall…

-= z~may =-

Somewhere between the procrastination and the homework
and the incessant forwards and the friendships and the calls
to each other complaining about Crushes and Boyfriends or Girlfriends..
Somewhere between the phone calls to old friends
and the "I miss you’s", the "I love you’s" and the "What are we doing tonight?"
and somewhere between all of the changing and growing…

Somewhere between the classes and the skipping classes
and the Studying for tests
and the PRETENDING to "Study" for tests
and the downright NOT studying for tests
I forgot… I forgot what School was all about…

Somewhere between all the appointments, Starbuck Coffee, and Mc Donald’s…
Paying bills and then not paying bills
Making plans then breaking plans
Appearing, Disappearing, then Reappearing…
I forgot… I forgot what it was like to cry…

I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn’t make you happy…
And that pretending to be smart doesn’t make you smart…
I forgot that you can’t just forget the PAST and fear of the FUTURE…
I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget
are the things which we most need to talk about…
I learned that sometimes the ..*things you want most you just can’t have..*
and the things that *you look for are right in front of you..*
I forgot that you can’t control falling in LoVe..
And that you can’t make yourself fall in LoVe…
I learned that I can *LOVE*…

I learned that it’s okay to MEsS UP….
And it’s okay to ask for HELP..
And it’s okay to feel like CraP…
I learned it’s okay to CoMpLaIn
and WHiNE to all your friends for a whole day…

I learned that the greatest thing about
High School and College and the working world
isn’t about the parties or the DRiNKiNG or the HooKuPs …
It’s the *FrIeNdShIpS*, which means taking chances.

I learned that TIME and LOVE can heal all things…
I learned that just when you think it can’t get worse - it does! …
but with the love and support of friends - you survive…
I’ve learned that when you start feeling BaD
about L O S I N G touch and about those that you’ve lost..
They too, are feeling the same way….
I learned that letters from friends are the most important things.
And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better!

But, basically, I just learned that my friends…….. Both old and new…..
are the most important people to me in the world AND…….without them,
I wouldn’t be who I am today…..

Life’s boring…
Everything here’s so… Quiet… Slow… and… Boring…
Miri sucks BIG time…
But then again… not all the time la… *contradicting*
Think I’m more disciplined here compared back in Subang…
Accounting 308: One assignment handed in today, another one more to go…
Finance 302: Presentation this coming Tuesday *stressss*
This sem’s quite relaxing… But next sem I’ll jump off the highest building in Miri…
The boredom forces me to study… Good or bad point?
Subang… Too much temptation there…
The entertainment… The friends.. The food… My dogs… etc…

At lab now, with James, Gaston & Raymond…
So weird looking.. We each hold a cup into lab…
To make "Sabah tea" while we study…
But here I am blogging *guilty*
Had dinner at Ray/Gas’s place ystrdy & today…
They’re damn superb cooks! *yummy*

Bored bored bored…
Cant wait to get back home…
Gosh.. So bored till did some stupid quiz James showed me..
He’s Charlie Brown & I’m Sponge Bob.. What the… Why am i a sponge? *grunts*
Charlie Brown:- You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your Mum every Sunday. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few birthdays. Don’t let your passion confuse you with reality.
Sponge Bob Square Pants:- You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never want to lose. You never cause harm to anyone and they would never not understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it’s funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people, then you will be stress free.
…Agree to the last sentence. Ppl who gets jealous tooo easily… irritates me..

11.56am now… Hungry already =P
The prawns in my stomach are digested already i think…
Hmmm.. Kolok mee at 3am later? *hehe* Datz wat we do for supper here la..
Bored bored bored… May’s at KeyMin’s place now…
Some people turning 21 soon =D Looking forward for the BBQ dis Fri…
Gonna torture the birthday boy and girl… *wuahaha*

K la… Shall go read more of James’ stupido emails…
Tata Bloggie…

-= z~may =-

Exactly a week ago, our accident took place…
On the way to the airport, Heng was saying… "This road very well known for ‘dirty’ stuff, many unexplainable accidents and lots of people died here before"
On the way back from the airport… we remembered clearly how slowly our Kancil was going.
But the car just lost control… Just like that!
Swirved to the opposite direction… May tried to break, but it got worst.
All I remembered was the car swayed to the left, banged a white Hilux…
Then my world went tumbling upside down… and bing bing bang bang.

Scariest minutes of my life, but at least now we can joke and talk about it…
It’s true when they say, "The few minutes before you thought you’re gonna die, images of the most important things in life will come flashing in your mind" 
Only then, did I realize who are the important people in my life…
Only then, did I realize who creates the biggest impacts to me…
Only then, did I realize I might not be able to see my loved ones again…
Only then, did I realize I might not be able to say things that I’ve been longing to tell…
But funny though, we were not afraid of death…
May & I wasn’t afraid of dying… Wasn’t afraid of pain… Or that we’re not ready to go yet.
Was expecting to land in pieces… Was expecting more pain, more bangs when the car tossed and turned.
How many times the car turned, I dont know.
When or how did it whacked into the 2 other Wiras, I don’t know.
All I knew I performed lots of gymnastic stunts… and summersaults.
But Thank God, when I opened my eyes, I was facing the beautiful sky.
I was about 10 feet away from the car, lying on the road…
Didn’t know how I came off from the backscreen…
And Thank God, May and Heng crawled out from the "turtled" car to safety.
God knows what happened. Till now we were still wondering how it happened.
Muscleaches, bumps, scratches and bruises are nothing to us now..
It’s a miracle how we came out with no major injuries…
May’s thigh and toe… Is still pain, black and ugly. Ha-ha.

Don’t wanna talk bout it nemore.
There were many many wonderful things that happened though =D
My dear has been fantastic. An angel sent to me =)
Maxine’s stay here during free week was fun =) She gave us a surprise, notty girl. Missing her already =(
Had few drinking nights, and did stupid things Ha-ha! Don’t ask.

—> Heng’s  Anonymous’ "hair"

—> James… Toes lickin good.

—> My sexy dear strikes again =P

—> Haha.

—> The survivors.

—> And the cuckoos.

Oh yah, Happy Belated Birthday to Heng again.. Had another crazy drinking night again with you guys. =)

Now, back to studies again, week free’s over. Weee heee..! My hubby and grandson’s here to pick me up =D *lucky*
Bye people!

-= z~may =-

I’m in the lab now… 2 more hours to lecture, and i haven’t finish studying…
Been studying lately, *proud* ha-ha. But still not enough…
Mid-sem is very very near… Really wanna study hard this sem… Not just to pass.
Hope I’ll be tamed down la, ha-ha.
Josh May and I bought a bottle of Bailey’s for only RM70 =D
A cup of Baileys a day keeps the doctor away… =)

Had a chat with a friend yesterday… Long long chat of the past…
Love, friendship, families etc…
Found out things I never knew, told her things she never knew…
Confided in her, the stories I never share. Poured out feelings which I have kept.
Felt a lil’ relief, though its all in the past.
But things are not like what it seems in people’s eyes.
Glad that she heard from my side.
Learnt that what people think, don’t matter that much to me anymore, as it does last time.
There are too many people to please if it does matter…

Anyway… Found this pic which May and I took! =D
Boxers! Yah, its for guys, but we don’t care.. Coz we like it a lot =)
Josh has one too! Something like mine but without the hand sign…
And it’s only 5bucks! Hehe.

K la.. I better go start doing my case-study…

Byebye Blog!

-= z~may =-

Yesterday

• Went for class, found out good news bout our 50% group assignments =D =D The remainding 50% is just multiple choices… Ha-ha! One subject down… No worries ady
• After lecture, sneaked into Mayz‘ lecture wif Eric, KeyMin, Derik… About Tourism Mgmt. Have always love tourism… Shuckz, should have majored in Tourism & Marketing here =( *regretful*
• Evening, went to DOTA! =D May n I won 2rounds against James n Devonne *whoohuu!* The feeling of victory! Girls tapau-ed guys summore Plus, we used all mili heroes, and heroes we’re not familiar with =) PA, Swen, N.Assassin etc.. *satisfied* Dominating!
• At night, went to campus wif Joshua n Jorden. Found out more resources for my 308 Assignment *happy*…
• Then chatted with many many friends… Feel at home once again… *touched* Talked back of bittersweet memories. But as time passes by, we tend to remember only the sweet ones… True friends will never go away… But also, chatted with some friends who were in trouble =( Wish I could reach out to them emotionally and be there for them =(
• On the way back, it started to drizzle… Jorden said, "Hey! Since we seldom use our jackets here in Miri, letz take a stroll under the rain,"… So we three bored people, walked under the rain to buy burger for supper =) Miri can be fun too =)

Today

• Woke up drowsy, and did my laundry. Wanted to bathe, and realized how DingDong I can be. Washed all my towels =( And my hsemates dun wanna lend me their towels.. "Coz they hate me" (Joshua’s favorite line) =P So I had to use my shirts to dry-up =(
• Helped Joshua fill-in his PTPTN form, so so so mafarn… Have to shade every single detail, like schooling style.. shade every single alphabet.. Haihz.. Nvm la, since I’m free anyway…
• Then they went for football n May came back with the electric bill =(   Think three of us eat electricity here to survive. 1 month RM200, can u believe it? [Mayz 100, Josh's 60, Mine 40] Still, expensive lor. Raymond’s hse is only RM90… Heng’s hse only RM70… And Devonne’s hse RM21?! Cannot be man…
• Then I studied… 2chapters of Finance =) Don’t feel that guilty anymore…
• Then James sent a happy sms… He was in a good mood today coz he’s shifting out… "Can I tempt any of you for pizza? My treat" *Wippie!* So we had our cater dinner 1st (which was surprisingly yummy today)… Then to Raymond’s place for PIZZA! *thanx james!*
• Then we conquered Raymond’s comp for DOTA… *teehee*
• Then I got an sms from one of my best girlfriend =( Feel like teleporting to KL to talk to her… ((HuGs)) Love hurts..
• Newy… Then Ray Dvon & I helped James’ pack, and unpack… Off to James’ new place (Dvon’s place)! I was sooo surprised lor! Corner house, RM650! Cheaper than ours, and their house is so much bigger!! =( James room is same price with mine, but it’s like 50% much more bigger! And their living room so spacious.. But then again, I didn’t have that homey feeling there.. Dunno why. So, think our house is much more cosy and homey after all =)
• Now here I am in the freezing computer lab with my daughter and son-in-law =)
• Time passesby quite fast today =)
• I miss home…

-= z~may =-

*stress*
Confusing myself with so many articles for my tutorial work tomorrow…
Finance International = Fun + Brainstorming + Headache

"What are the causes of Argentina crisis back in 2001? The Lessons learnt? The steps taken to normalize the economy?
And how bout Thailand’s Crisis in 97′? And Russia’s in 98′?
How did rampant specualtion worsened the emerging market crisis?"

And bla bla bla. Have to get all answers fr web & this is like 3 out of 15 we have to do…
Got tonnes dozens of Internet Explorers on my taskbar… Dunno which is what also…
And got other subjects also… %^!?(#&? Haih, a student’s life…
I need a break!

Yayyyy… Donkeys Anne & TT online! *yippie*
There goes my homework la.. Ha-ha!
Sigh… Guess have to take the late "schoolie" bus home today..
Darn line, so slow…

-= z~may =-

Stupid Anne… I purposely missed the 12.30 bus to chat with her…
Chatted half-way, she ditched me to satisfy her stomache
Idiot, I’m so gonna bite you badly when I see you..! *gggrrr*
So now, I’m stranded here in campus… And itz all your fault…
And May say she’ll be here by 1… but it’s 1.20 now… Where’s everyone?! >.<
Didn’t want to update blogs anymore, so lazy, but boredom made me change my mind…
Soooo many things I didn’t update… Ups and downs in Miri…

Satuday night, we went Bistro…
Before that, went for joyrides in Tony & Heng’s car… Testing their sound system… Nice!
Wow, itz been long since the last time I sat in fast cars, reminds me of Subang… =)
Continue… Went to Bistro - May Josh Sam James Heng Gaston -
Ordered Beer, coz it’s the cheapest… The guys played Pool… While the rest played cards…
We "bottoms-up"ed about 6-7 cups of beer each?
And shit, I was like laughing at May the whole night coz she got so tipsy and high…
Teased her that she and Gaston can’t drink while I was still so sober…
Hey, at least I could still play "chor tai tee" and count! Ha-ha.
C’mon, man! Itz just beer!!
Then we went over to Heng/Jordan’s place, Joshua was suppose to give "shuffling" sessions…
Walkin out from the pub, felt dizzy, but it was NOTHING compared to how pissed drunk i got before =P *memories*
Reached their place, straight away headed to the toilet and puked a lottt *torturing*
My throat felt like it was burning. Really really real pain.
Then rest there a while waiting for May & Gaston… Wait wait wait.. And wait wait wait…
Only did we realize they FFK us! *argh*
So Josh & I had to walk home - The most most torturing part…
Thought I could do it… Think i vomitted too much, and forced myself to walk… For the 1st time in my life, I felt gastric… Darn pain.
Damn. Past few weeks I’ve been teasing May & Josh that they’re weak coz always gastric.
Think now my stomache’s trying to adapt with theirs! Pay back.
Itz damnn pain lorrr… Joshua offered to piggyback me home, but i dowan laa.. Paiseh. Ha-ha.
Then I squatted down for soooo long… Josh said, "Errr… Sam, do you realize you’re at the middle of the road?" Oops. Torturing slow long journey.
[To my Penguin: Sorry ya, didn't tell you this... You were not feeling well and sleeping, didn't wanna worry you. Sorry sorry. Thought I was okay, but didn't know i was still lousy. Haih... But not dat bad la! Now okay ady =) ]
Slept soundly that night…

The next day… What else but got teased and laughed back by May…
Then felt gastric for few times again… Shit man. Hate it lor…
Think itz because I always skip lunch… To save money =(
We ordered monthly catering, trying not to spend even a single buck lor…
End up either I’m lazy to cook or just drink Milo for lunch…
Lost 4kgs… Or either our weighing machine is really not accurate… *my poor stomache* =(
Oh… Weekend, we went Dota in town for many rounds!! =D -Me May James- *satisfied*
Yesterday had the craving for bakkutteh!
So we -May Josh Sam Raymond Gaston James- went to "Krokop" for it =D *yum*

K lar, May is here! *Weepie*
Shall be a good girl n not skip my lunch today…
And study I shall…!
Lalalala… Anne’s fault, this entry is made… Miss my donkeys…

-= z~may =-